Fit Check Heart Check: Preparing for the School Year Ahead

Having a great back-to-school look is important, but even more crucial is the mental health check—ensuring our kids are emotionally prepared for the new school year.  According to a recent Gallup survey, 80% of children find it helpful when their parents discuss mental health with them. Forty percent of parents frequently worry about their children’s mental health, yet only 20% find it easy to bring up.

While the opportunity for these conversations is there, many parents struggle with how to initiate them. Here are some positive ways to start talking about mental health at home:

Choose the Right Moment: Kids often respond indifferently when serious topics arise, but this doesn’t mean they aren’t listening. Aim for times when their attention is less divided, such as during a car ride, after phones are put away for the night, or at the dinner table.

Discuss Mental Health During Calm Moments: Some parents worry that discussing depression or anxiety when their child is calm might trigger those feelings. In reality, a calm environment is ideal for having low-pressure conversations about mental health.

Share Your Own Experiences: Let your children know that everyone experiences tough emotions and struggles. Sharing how you’ve navigated your own challenges can help them understand that difficulties are a normal part of life and not a permanent state.

Use Real-Life Examples: Talk about friends or media characters who have faced mental health challenges. Ask your child if they relate to these situations or how they feel about the way these challenges were managed.

Use non-clinical language: Try “Are you feeling overwhelmed?” or “It seems like you’re dealing with a lot,” rather than technical terms like “Are you experiencing anxiety?”

Ask Direct Questions: Direct questions can open the door to deeper conversations. For example, “Is there anything on social media that makes you uncomfortable?” or “Have you come across anything upsetting online?” can help gauge their feelings and experiences. I have heard that a lot of kids come across pornography on the internet, even when they aren’t looking for it. Has this happened to you?

Normalize Difficult Emotions: Let your child know that feeling anxious before a big event or sad about a friendship is normal. The goal isn’t to make them happy all the time, but to acknowledge and validate their feelings. 

Consider Other Trusted Adults: Sometimes another trusted adult, such as a coach or family member, might be a better person for these discussions. You can ask if they have ever thought that talking to a therapist would be helpful. If the answer is yes, it might indicate they have concerns they’re not ready to share with you, or they might appreciate an additional support system. Either way, you are showing that you are willing to tag someone in. 

Watch for Signs of Professional Help Needs: When the main functions of childhood and adolescence are suffering, such as difficulty sleeping, attending school, making friends, or losing interest in activities they once enjoyed, it may be time to consider therapy. If anxiety or depression is hindering their growth or willingness to try new things, seeking professional help could be beneficial.