hese survival strategies help us navigate challenges, but like any coping mechanism, they can be overused. What once kept us safe can become a default response, applied even in situations where it no longer serves us. In short, the way you once survived does not have to be the way you live.

I often sound like a broken record in my practice, but I truly believe that changing thoughts and behaviors begins with empathy and validation. For yourself and for others. Think about this: if a child is afraid of going into a dark room and you tell them, “There’s nothing scary in there, you don’t need to be scared,” that likely won’t work. Why? Because you've skipped over empathy and validation. Instead, try this: “A lot of people don’t like dark rooms because it’s scary when you can’t see everything.” You’ll likely get a very different response.

Now, if a child says, “I’m so ugly,” instead of saying, “You’re crazy, don’t think that,” try something like, “A lot of people feel unhappy about the way they look sometimes, and it doesn’t feel good, does it?” That’s empathy and validation, and instead of a dismissive approach, it creates space for open dialogue.

Winter can be a time of reflection, quiet renewal, and unseen progress. Just as the ground is nurturing new roots, our mental and emotional health can benefit from embracing the slower pace. Therapy can be an important part of this growth, offering a space for self-reflection and healing during the dormant times.

Forming healthy relationships takes time, practice, emotional maturity, and solid communication skills—things that are still developing in most teenagers. According to Dr. Lisa Damour, a leading expert on teen mental health, adolescence is a period when teens are working to separate from their parents and define their own identities. This process, called "separation-individuation," is not just about gaining independence but also about exploring who they are apart from their family. As a result, peer relationships move to the forefront of their decision-making, often surpassing family connections in importance. Teens are driven to find their "tribe"—a group of peers who provide support, validation, and a sense of belonging. This deep desire for social connection can make the fear of loneliness incredibly intense, pushing them to prioritize friendships or romantic relationships, even if those connections are unhealthy or misaligned with their values.

Think about it. If someone yells at you or criticizes you harshly, how do you respond? Do you feel more driven and energized? Do you suddenly feel excited about your goals and motivated to keep at it every day? For most of us, that approach might work temporarily, but it doesn’t foster lasting change and we often burn out.

Great teachers, coaches, and leaders understand this. They know that motivation comes from personalized praise, encouragement, patience, and kindness. So, even if you’re skeptical, try embracing self-compassion in goal-setting—not because I said so, but because the alternative approach is rarely effective in creating lasting growth.

As we step into 2025, I invite you to leave behind the old way of goal-setting that relies on self-criticism. Instead, approach your resolutions and goals with love, compassion, and appreciation for who you already are. When we choose to grow from a place of self-love, we open ourselves up to the possibility of sustainable, meaningful change.

So, this year, I challenge you to ask yourself: Is this goal coming from a place of love? Happy New Year, and here’s to a year of loving growth and compassionate goal-setting!

As a perfectionist, it can be hard to embrace downtime without guilt, but it’s vital to your well-being and overall success. The key is to find balance: give yourself the space to relax and let go of the need to be constantly productive. After all, taking care of yourself isn’t a luxury—it’s a requirement for the sustainable success and happiness you deserve.

Give yourself permission to feel what you feel—whether that's joy, sadness, stress, or a little bit of everything. It’s okay to have days when you’re excited to decorate the tree, and others when you just want to curl up with a cozy blanket and not think about the holiday rush.

Allowing yourself to experience the full range of emotions—not just the “happy” ones—will actually help you enjoy the season more. When you give yourself the space to acknowledge your feelings without judgment, you free yourself from the pressure of pretending everything’s perfect.

While our internal alert system is designed to protect us, it doesn’t always reflect the reality of the present situation. Understanding that our reactions may be influenced by past experiences is key to breaking free from unnecessary anxiety. By recognizing that the alarm bells are not always grounded in current reality, we can choose to approach situations with greater awareness and understanding. Instead of seeking constant reassurance from others, we can acknowledge that these alerts are rooted in our past and not necessarily a cause for concern. Treat this information like you would the alarm system in your car: pause, assess, and move on with confidence.

But here's the thing: black-and-white thinking can be a major obstacle. We sometimes trap ourselves in the belief that if the celebration wasn’t big enough or didn’t follow the "right" traditions, then it wasn’t worth it. If that resonates with you, I invite you to try a "both/and" mindset. This allows multiple truths to coexist—like, you can feel both thankful and frustrated at the same time.

In her 2023 book Never Enough, Wallace explains that the constant pursuit of perfection can lead to stress, anxiety, and burnout. She found that high-achieving students often overwork themselves, tying their worth to their results rather than their growth or effort. Wallace's research reveals how the "100% or nothing" mentality fosters chronic pressure, which can cause emotional exhaustion and undermine long-term success.

I’m excited to share this collection of podcast episodes that focus on mental health and personal growth. I have found these helpful, informative and inspiring. 

I limited myself to this list but reserve the right to add as needed. I would love to hear your favorites.  Message me if you have one you love to share. 

As a therapist, it’s my duty to overanalyze the meaning of these questions and use them as a bit of a Rorschach test. “The silent treatment?” I might ask. “Is that something that happened a lot in your childhood?” All in good fun, of course.

While both can lead to feelings of exhaustion, hopelessness, and decreased functioning, understanding the differences between them is crucial for effective intervention and support.

Engaging in these activities with people you feel connected to can bring you closer to happiness, especially when you use that time to strengthen those bonds. Making intentional choices about how to spend your time and what you can gain from it can set you on the path (not the destination) to happiness.

The SPACE protocol allows parents to be supportive to their children without reinforcing the anxiety loop. The goal is to allow kids to feel their anxious feelings and feel confidence in their ability to handle it.

What we don’t always hear is the internal dialogue these teens are grappling with, which can be brutal. As a therapist, one of my tasks is to help teens become aware of their inner voice and understand its impact on their mood. The self-talk I encounter daily is often surprisingly harsh. This internal monologue is their constant companion, and when it turns critical, it can cause a lot of pain.

Feeling nervous before a game or performance is completely normal. However, it’s essential to differentiate between healthy nerves and overwhelming panic. Encourage your child to channel their anxiety into focus and preparation, rather than letting it hinder their performance. Help your child turn that nervous energy into focus, and if their anxiety starts to resemble panic, let’s chat about whether therapy could be the game-changer.

Back to school photos are also markers of growth. As we watch children transition into new grades and take on fresh challenges, we witness their ongoing development. These moments serve as poignant reminders of how far they’ve come and how much further they are yet to go. It’s a celebration of progress and potential.

Some parents worry that discussing depression or anxiety when their child is calm might trigger those feelings. In reality, a calm environment is ideal for having low-pressure conversations about mental health.

If we start with a faulty assumption that the failures come from a lack of desire to do well, then we are stuck, without a path to success. This is when we see low motivation, depression, or anxiety related to school performance. Alternatively, if we start with a growth mindset then we can dive into the source of the problem and be a part of our child’s team.