It's complicated: Mixed emotions about the holidays

The holidays are here, and with them, the pressure to feel cheerful, festive, and full of holiday spirit. For some, this time of year is a season of joy, excitement, and warmth. For others, it can feel overwhelming, stressful, or even isolating. But here's the truth: it's okay to feel both. It’s perfectly normal to have mixed emotions around the holidays, and you don’t have to force yourself into a mold of holiday cheer.

The Many Faces of the Holidays

Let’s start by acknowledging something: the holidays are a lot. They can be heartwarming, filled with laughter, love, and connection. They can also be stressful, chaotic, and emotionally exhausting. It’s not uncommon to feel a little bit of everything—excitement, gratitude, stress, loneliness, or even sadness.

You might look forward to the lights, the food, and the togetherness, but also find yourself feeling drained by the endless to-do lists, the demands of social gatherings, or the reminder of someone missing from the table. You could love spending time with family and friends but also dread the crowds, the noise, and the expectations.

It's Okay to Feel Both Happy and Sad

Sometimes, we’re told that holidays are supposed to be nothing but joy, and if you’re not experiencing that all the time, something’s wrong. But the reality is far more nuanced. You might find yourself feeling a mix of excitement about the traditions you cherish while also mourning the loss of something—or someone—that made the holidays feel complete. Or maybe, you just feel indifferent or underwhelmed by all the festivities around you.

And guess what? That's okay. You don’t need to fit into any predefined box of what the holidays should look like or how you should feel. Trying to force yourself to be perpetually “cheerful” for an entire month can lead to frustration, burnout, or even resentment. Instead, try giving yourself the grace to embrace all your emotions as they come.

Giving Yourself Grace

One of the greatest gifts you can give yourself this holiday season is kindness and understanding. Give yourself permission to feel what you feel—whether that's joy, sadness, stress, or a little bit of everything. It’s okay to have days when you’re excited to decorate the tree, and others when you just want to curl up with a cozy blanket and not think about the holiday rush.

Allowing yourself to experience the full range of emotions—not just the “happy” ones—will actually help you enjoy the season more. When you give yourself the space to acknowledge your feelings without judgment, you free yourself from the pressure of pretending everything’s perfect.

Embrace the Mixed Emotions

As you move through the holiday season, remember that you don’t have to be a “holiday person” to enjoy the holidays. You don’t have to be a person who dreads them either. You can be both—and that’s perfectly okay.

So this year, be kind to yourself. Let go of the notion that you have to be happy all the time. Embrace the full spectrum of what the season brings, and know that wherever you fall on that emotional spectrum, you’re not alone. We’re all in this together.

Wishing you peace, love, and understanding this holiday season—whatever that looks like for you.