Spotting Emotional Triggers and Letting Go of False Alarms

Modern cars, especially those manufactured in the past five years, are equipped with a variety of sensors and warning systems designed to keep drivers informed and safe. For instance, when reversing, the backup camera might trigger an alert at the sight of something as benign as a leaf. Similarly, if a vehicle ahead slows down, your car may emit an audible warning that demands your attention. As drivers, we don’t ignore these signals; we pause, assess the situation, check the camera, scan the surroundings, and gather more information before deciding how to proceed. This heightened awareness allows us to act thoughtfully and safely. If there is no danger, we move on.

Our internal alert system functions in a similar way. When something feels off or unusual, it often triggers a response — a signal that something may be wrong. These alerts can be caused by past experiences, internal expectations, or unresolved concerns. However, it’s important to recognize that these internal alarms are not always based on reality. They are pieces of information that we need to interpret, not absolute facts.

Sometimes, our internal warning system will sound off even when there is no real danger. For example, a loud noise might be harmless in the moment, but if you’ve previously encountered a threatening situation, such as gunfire or an explosion, your system might overreact.

The same happens with emotional triggers: if you’ve experienced abandonment by a caregiver in the past, your internal alarm will likely be more sensitive to behaviors that resemble those experiences, such as a friend canceling plans. While there may be no actual threat, the alert can still cause feelings of anxiety or abandonment.

If you’ve experienced a panic attack before, your body may react to early signs of anxiety — such as a racing heart or sweaty palms — by sending you a message that a panic attack is inevitable. This cycle of anxiety can become self-perpetuating, as the anticipation of panic creates more panic.

In relationships, unresolved emotional pain can also resurface. For example, if you’ve been blindsided by a breakup in the past, your internal alert system may trigger heightened vigilance during moments of tension in a new relationship. Any disagreement or uncertainty might cause you to fear the relationship is ending, even when there’s no real cause for concern.

While our internal alert system is designed to protect us, it doesn’t always reflect the reality of the present situation. Understanding that our reactions may be influenced by past experiences is key to breaking free from unnecessary anxiety. By recognizing that the alarm bells are not always grounded in current reality, we can choose to approach situations with greater awareness and understanding. Instead of seeking constant reassurance from others, we can acknowledge that these alerts are rooted in our past and not necessarily a cause for concern. Treat this information like you would the alarm system in your car: pause, assess, and move on with confidence.