New Year, New Approach: Set Goals with Love, Not Criticism

Happy New Year! Let’s Try Something New in 2025

As the new year unfolds, many of us start the familiar routine of setting goals, making resolutions, and maybe creating vision boards. Perhaps this has worked for you? You have used these goals to create lasting change.  If so, yay! For many, these New Year goals can come from good intentions but fail in the sustainability department. This year, I encourage you to try something different, something transformative: approaching your goals with love and compassion rather than self-criticism.

The Usual Approach: A Cycle of Self-Criticism

Let’s take a moment to reflect. How have you approached goal-setting in the past? My guess is that many of us have tried setting goals or resolutions from a place of self-criticism. Maybe you’ve sat down to write a list of things you need to “fix” or “change” about yourself. You’ve decided that you need to be more disciplined, more productive, or more focused. Perhaps you’ve created a vision board filled with images of the person you want to become – someone more successful, more confident, more disciplined.

I love the idea of growth, but too often it comes from a mindset of scarcity or deficiency. We ask ourselves, What’s wrong with me? What do I need to fix to be good enough? This leads us into the cycle of self-judgment and is based on a belief that we are somehow not enough as we are. We find ourselves avoiding the tasks all together because this cycle feels bad. 

A New Approach: Love and Compassion in Goal-Setting

This year, I want to challenge you to set goals from a place of love and compassion. Instead of focusing on what you need to change to become better, ask yourself: Is this goal coming from a place of love? Am I appreciating who I am and all that I have accomplished, or am I simply trying to fix what I see as broken?

There’s a big difference between setting a goal from a mindset of deficit versus setting one from a mindset of abundance and self-love. When you set a goal, ask yourself if it will help you feel good or become more aligned with your values, rather than whether it will "fix" or "improve" something about you.

The Power of Compassionate Goal-Setting

Goals set with compassion aren’t about striving for perfection. They’re about acknowledging your worth and then thinking about what would nourish you, enhance your well-being, and contribute to your sense of fulfillment. When you come from a place of love, you allow space for growth that feels gentle, sustainable, and authentic.

Try starting with celebration and asking yourself why you are making the goal. Celebrate Your Progress: Before you set any goals, take a moment to acknowledge all that you have already achieved. Recognize your efforts, your resilience, and the growth you’ve already experienced. This sets a foundation of appreciation and gratitude. Ask Yourself Why: When choosing a goal, ask yourself, Why do I want this? Is it because I genuinely want to improve, or is it because I feel like I’m not enough as I am? When the answer comes from a place of love and self-empowerment, the goal is more likely to inspire true growth.

Feeling Skeptical?

I totally understand. Maybe you don’t feel like you deserve a break, or you think you haven’t earned the compassion I’m talking about. But I’d like you to try something. Ask yourself: What truly motivates you?

Think about it. If someone yells at you or criticizes you harshly, how do you respond? Do you feel more driven and energized? Do you suddenly feel excited about your goals and motivated to keep at it every day? For most of us, that approach might work temporarily, but it doesn’t foster lasting change and we often burn out.

Great teachers, coaches, and leaders understand this. They know that motivation comes from personalized praise, encouragement, patience, and kindness. So, even if you’re skeptical, try embracing self-compassion in goal-setting—not because I said so, but because the alternative approach is rarely effective in creating lasting growth.

As we step into 2025, I invite you to leave behind the old way of goal-setting that relies on self-criticism. Instead, approach your resolutions and goals with love, compassion, and appreciation for who you already are. When we choose to grow from a place of self-love, we open ourselves up to the possibility of sustainable, meaningful change.

So, this year, I challenge you to ask yourself: Is this goal coming from a place of love? Happy New Year, and here’s to a year of loving growth and compassionate goal-setting! Check out these list published recently by New York Times titled 10 Ways to Keep Your Mind Healthy in 2025 if you need more reasons to stifle that inner critic.